Under These Rocks and Stones

Arrival Date: June 25th

Departure Date: Never!

Accomodation: Staying with my sister and her fiance in their 3 bedroom flat in Notting Hill…’cause that’s just how I roll.*

Work:  No, thank you!

Awesomeness: Off the charts!

*Until I get kicked out, of course, and have to find my own tiny bedroom in a house shared with 10 other people.

My passport with my UK Visa arrived yesterday.  I can’t wait to talk like Madonna and abuse my liver.

1 for each tit.

I swear.

xxxV.

This constant state of nausea sucks hard…and I’m not even puking.

That’s what it feels like trying to get the proper information for this freaking UK Visa application. Click this, and then this, and then that and then go here and read this, and then click on this and that and then oh, looky here! We’re at the beginning again!

Cheerio!

I think I’ve figured it out finally. Cheeky bastards can’t keep me out! And that bitch with the posh accent on the British Consulate General’s answering machine? She’s really pissing me off too.

Hm, well, let me see here.

Maybe, I was out enjoying the lunch I’m entitled to and never take?

Or, maybe I was doing my job and making some deposits at the bank two blocks away?

Or, maybe, just maybe, I was in the bathroom pooping?

Or getting some coffee?

Or maybe I just put it on and sat at my desk and laughed maniacally when the calls came in and went immediately to the message after one ring that allows the caller to punch in an extension number at anytime and if by chance they don’t know that extension number? Well then they can press # and then type in the first three letters of the person’s name, first or last, doesn’t matter. And if they still can’t do that? Well, I list all employees names followed by his/her extension number at the end of the goddamn message!

Ahem.

Did I answer your question sufficiently?

Great! Awesome! Let’s get to work! Goooo Team!

1. 7 hours of wine induced slumber.

2. Getting some much needed answers to some questions I had about penises last night.

3. Being offered $14 for my body in the Downtown East Side last night…which I thought was pretty damn good considering the area.

to think of three happy things for today, but all I can focus on is my sore mouth/teeth/gums (dentist appt at 9:00 in this am), and my sore chin (mofo of a zit that I’m trying to keep my fingers away from), and this goddamn-never-ending nausea.

Also, I have a birthday dinner party to attend tonight that I would so love to flake-out on, but when you’re one of three (maybe 4), I think that’s kind of mean. So me, my sore mouth, my zit and my effed up appetite are going out tonight. Heading out to “historical Gastown” for some French cuisine. I am trying to get excited about this, honestly, I am. Especially because I will be with two gays and maybe one bi (alright!).

Also, also…I am tired.  So, so, so tired.

The sleeping pills aren’t working anymore.

Oh yeah, I also haven’t pooped in 2 days.

All of these bad things combined, make V a very,very sad girl.

Ok, so here I go…

3 Happy Things:

1. The sun shining.

2. Only 1 more hour left until I can go home and poke at the zit.

3. um, my hair kind of looks ok today?   I just pooped.